Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Missteps in "dating" or what finally prompted me to stop dating non-mormons
In October of '03 I ran onto the metro at the west fall church platform and sat next to a nice looking 20 something. We started talking as the train was delayed and a 20 minute ride into the city took nearly 45 minutes. He was blonde, cute and shy. I was sick of not dating and interested in getting to know him more. He surfed and was a "professional" surf photographer. Fun to talk to. I ended up e-mailing him after I got to the office.
He gave me his phone number and we started talking to eachother a few times a week. He asked me out on a date the next week. It was dinner and then we went over to his house to play pool. We ended up going out a few times, but i made it clear that I was interested in him as a friend and told him that I was LDS.
A few days later, I tore a couple of ligaments in my ankle and was laid up for a few weeks. I returned this guy's phone calls but found that they had degraded to him lamenting about his job, girls, and his life. I finally found him a bit of a bother as I was dealing with my first major injury of my life and said hey, I'm crazy busy right now, and I'm going to be in a cast for 4 weeks while I'm trying to finish up the semester of school.
After the semester of school ended about 4 weeks after I talked to him last, I called him up to see how he was, and the call went as follows:
J: "Hey how are you?"
S:"I just lost my job..........................................." After 5 minutes of a very one sided lamenting i cut him and said,
J:" hey i'm actually going to a party, I just called to see how you were, I'm sorry about the job, but i need to go."
Five minutes later, I hear the message of my phone go off and a phone message saying:
"You never talked to me, you never write and then when you call you say you have to leave, he procedes to use a few choice 4 and 5 letter words and then keeps on going off on me."
A little while later I notice he had e-mailed me and said about the same of the e-mail. At the end of the choice e-mail, he had an attached a nice webcammed pornographic photo, saying this is one thing you'll never get a piece of. I laughed hard and deleted the e-mail.
However, I was a little shook up by the whole experience and decided that it was best to date people who understand what the phrase "I'm mormon" actually means.


Hoo said...

If he was a "surf photographer" what was he doing in Virginia? If he was wearing puka shells, he wasn't a surf photographer.

johnnygha said...

For a Mormon, dating a non-Mormon is tough business. Been there, done that. The non-Mormon never understood and there were always misunderstandings between us. On the flip-side, a convert to the LDS church, like I am, has just as many problems dating a lifelong Mormon. They always seemed to have treated me like I was less than pure or something, because I had been exposed to the non-LDS lifestyle nearly all of the years of my life.

In the end of many years of trying I just couldn’t take the loneliness any longer and I chose to leave the Mormons and the temple behind me. I dated many women and later married a girl who never knew I had been a Mormon until many years into our marriage. I still have not spoken much about my old life because I don’t think she would understand or appreciate my feelings. In my mind and in my heart I never abandoned my faith completely. I rely on God to judge what’s in my heart and to forgive my transgressions when they occur. I do wish I could have had both Worlds; the one of love and happy dating memories and the one with the LDS church and the spiritual truths it provided me.

Sherpa said...

wow. johnnygha. Thanks for sharing that. I wish you the best.