Apparently getting to Second is a lot different for this young man than the rest of us.....
Well, it's been a great season/year for me so far, friends. Here are my stats as of August 30th, courtesy of the Elias Sports Bureau (not really, but the numbers are true):
35 at-bats
3 k's
.558 slugging percentage
5 pop outs
11 hits
3 doubles
6 triples
4 homers
1 RBI
not counting my homers
Overall batting average: .314
No world series rings, though. I was in a pennant race for a while there, but management traded away my top prospect.
Key to stats:
at-bats - attempts to date
k's- strikeouts, or rejections by girls
slugging percentage - amount of girls that agreed to go out with me in principle
pop-outs- girls I asked out but then changed my mind and never went through with it
hits- actual number of girls that went out with me at least once
doubles- of those girls that went out with me, number that went for a second or third date. I have never made it past a third date this year!
triples- girls that let me cuddle or have close physical contact with them beyond hugging
homers- girls that I kissed!
RBI- in baseball, this means runs batted in, but since I wanted to exclude my own runs (homers), this includes the number of dates I have set-up/encouraged for other people that actually took place. I used to be much better at this!
Batting average: percentage of girls that I dated/took-out on a date at least once (31.4%) out of girls I tried to get to go out with me. As you can see, the majority of the girls did not show interest, though only 3 outright declined me. Why won't girls be more honest? I can take it!My top prospect was a girl that wanted to marry me, but I missed the trading deadline on that one. And I'm glad I did, since she wouldn't let me drop Simpsons one-liners!
Evil!Alright, there you have it. Of note to my friends in the Santa Monica 3rd ward: Of the 35 girls I propositioned in one way or another, 14 were in the Santa Monica 3rd ward, so, I had already been following the Bishop's edict long before his famous meeting with the Elder's Quorums imploring us men to ask the sisters in the ward out. I have successfully had at least one date with 5 of the 14.
This was posted on the public boards on Linkup.
A) I don't think i need to comment on this
B) Um, can you see a little bit of why Linkup Scares me?
C) I'm really not going to Comment on this. At least not today.
2 comments:
Aw,I think it's kind of cute, especially the RBI part, but I will say that's such a guy thing to reduce dating to stats.
My comments are 1) who is this guy? 2) Why couldn't the bishopric in the SM3 implore the bretheren to ask people out when I was there?
Y'know, Linkup has always been a little on the weird side, and I think I have always frequented the boards hoping that they'd improve. I'm on other boards where there's so much interesting discussion, and I thought Linkup would eventually turn into the same thing.
I've been holding out hope for how long? Over a year. I've finally given up recently. I still check it daily, but it's usually just a breeze-through to see if any of my friends' boards are interesting.
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