Sherpa's Wonderin's

My Weekend: as told to you by today's guest blogger

As some of you may know, I have 2 new roommates. Since one of them forbid me to post pictures of some of the weekend's antics on my blog, I'd been thinking of about how to accurately describe the weekend. Well, when a friend was complaining he had nothing to do since he was home sick, I came up with a hare-brained plan. Luckily, John obliged and was kind (or crazy) enough to be a guest-blogger. I supplied him just a list of what I did this weekend, and he wrote a story about my weekend. Enjoy! If you like it or hate it, let us know!

Friday
A day trip was planned to Delaware, Pennsylvania, Maryland and Virginia,. Sadly, it would be the last tour of the east coast that Betty would go on. As they toured Gettysburg a gang war broke out amongst the two strongest local Amish factions, ‘Los Reformed Reformers’ & ‘The Plain People of Lancaster County’ or PPLC for short.

The loss of life was tremendous as in the Amish way of life usually there is a commitment to peace, however this commitment was destroyed when unbeknownst to Sherpa & Saucy their bringing of Ketchup flavour potato chips was seen as the vilest of vile desecration of their sacred way of life. (and really, who could blame them. Ketchup…YUK go for a decent flavour like Jalapeno, or Crawfish <link>.

An excerpt from the Little Britain PA Telegraph tells the sad tale better than we could:A DRIVE-BY shooting at a city park today sparked fears of a renewed gang war in the north of Gettysburg. Multiple gunshots fired from a passing buggy blasted the window of a car on Friday afternoon.

This incident was also linked to the creation of a bitter feud between gang rivals LRR and PPLC, which saw escalating bloodshed during the daylong confrontation. Police were called 5pm on Friday after neighbours witnessed the shooting. They described seeing a buggy speed away from the scene after shots had been fired from the passenger side.

To recover from her loss and forgive a people who’s commitment to wear silly clothes had inspired her, Sherp ate copious amounts of Amish food, and returned home a broken Woman.

Upon returning home she found Janel & Megan engaged in an arm wrestling contest to the death, the winner could only be determined once the arm of the loser had been removed from the shoulder by the victor. Upon seeing this horrific image Sherpa ran in to attempt to stop this madness. Sadly she was no match for the conviction of Janel as she pleaded for them both to end this, Janel Proclaimed “There can only be ONE” and with the sound of spaghetti being thrown against a wall Megan went down with a shrill cry of defeat. Gasping as she turned her head, Sherpa had seen too much so she decided it might be time for some sleep.

Saturday

Upon checking her schedule for the remainder of the weekend she saw she had a DC United game to attend, but the memories of Betty and their soccer games together only brought tears and she didn’t think she would be able to attend. She looked out the window as a strange sight below caught her eye, there were Monkeys riding Polar Bears down the street, alas these were no normal Monkeys, but Ninja Monkeys from the Arashikage Clan, they’d been hired to finish the job that the Amish Gangs had failed to do, Sherpa ducked from the window as it exploded from a shrunken being thrown through.Knowing there was no way for her to last more than a few minutes against such highly trained operatives she ducked out the back unseen and decided to regroup her thoughts at the mall. As she made her way to the Mall, she began thinking of what had transpired in the last 24 hours and could only wonder who would benefit the most from her, and her friends demise. She was snapped back to reality when she heard yelling. Fearing the worst she looked only to realize it was a Mounted Policeman yelling at a Jaywalker.

Thanking her lucky stars she’d been taught the proper way to cross streets as a child she dashed into the mall. Once inside she didn’t know where to go next, or whom to trust. As she felt that whoever was behind all this would know her every plan for the weekend. She cursed to herself for posting her plans to her Blog, as that only increased the number of people who could be out to get her.

She remained at the mall till closing, and then a cold thought crept over her mind, It was almost time for SNL, and she’d be damned if anyone got between her and the repeat of Antonio Banderas hosting with Musical Guest: Mary J Blige. Though she felt Mary J had long since past her prime as an artist, there was something about the way that Antonio (who was shilling for his new Dance inspired movie) moved, and spoke when he was Dancing.

Once again clearing her thoughts she realized she had to get home, No matter the consequences. Upon arriving home she found her home had been ransacked and there was poo flung everywhere, she knew this to be the work of the Arashikage Monkeys, luckily her Television was unharmed, as she turned on the warm welcoming glow the television she began to feel sleepy, and she looked at her remote she saw only to late that there must have been some kind of poison on the channel button that would take her to her Antonio, as she slowly slipped into a drug induced state she heard the opening of Antonio’s monologue and she laughed, not only at the terrible jokes, but she realized all too late who must be behind everything.

She would miss Church the following day, and never again she would watch Bricks. And then the Blackness came.Who you ask could have masterminded this all? Why it was none other than Kelli, who recently returned from Costa Rica, and had amassed quite a gambling debt to some Costa Rican thugs that she would only be able to pay off once she had collected the life insurance policies she’d taken out on all her friends. It’s sad how far someone can fall while on Vacation.The Moral: Remember boys & girls; don’t bet it all Mr. T when watching Rocky III